A Little Pizza Thankfulness

What started out as a long-winded joke has turned into something more like a social experiment and I cannot help but share all of the things I'm learning from this experience. By now, if you know me well and follow me on social networking of any kind, you have inferred that I am a lover of pizza. I have been posting about it every single day this month as sort of a "30 Days of Thankfulness Challenge", only a lot more ridiculous.

Y'all know I'm about this.

I was sitting in my friend's apartment at the beginning of this month and joking with her that I wanted to do a thankfulness a day challenge, but, like, with food every day. It would be hilarious. "What if you just did pizza every day?!" she exclaimed. The idea was born and the rest is history. From that day forward I posted a pizza a day (and will continue on until the end of the month). It has never been a jab at others posting things they are thankful for--believe me when I say that I, too, am truly grateful for my friends, family, job, and Savior. This was always meant to be lighthearted and a fun, silly thing for me.

What I never could have anticipated is the many lessons I am learning from this silliness:

1. When you're vocal about something, people notice.

I have just been posting pizza. That's it. Sometimes my caption will have a pun and other times it will just be straight-up creepy, like I am literally romantically in love with food. Whatever makes me laugh at myself, really. Regardless, people are taking notice that this is a daily thing for me. At least once a day somebody, even multiple people that I know, will approach me in person to inquire about the pizza pictures. Mostly their question is, "What the heck, Sarah?". "I just love pizza and I'm super thankful for it," I respond nonchalantly.

People I haven't really spoken to in years have been coming out of the woodwork to ask me what this is all about.

One day when I was having this interaction with an acquaintance of mine it dawned on me--people are just asking about this because I have a "passion for pizza" that exceeds the normal level human beings should have for a food. Most people love pizza, but they just don't talk about it all the time.

Lots of people love Jesus, but they don't talk about that all the time either.

So I found myself challenged by my own thankfulness challenge. What if I posted so passionately about Jesus every single day? Would people notice that, too? I bet they would. When you are loud about the things that change your life, people want to know why... even if it's just pizza.

2. People are attracted to passion.

And it's contagious. I can't tell you how many people have posted on my pictures or said to me in person how hungry I am making them. I'm making myself hungry, too! Since this joke started I have had pizza at least once a week just from the hunger I'm stirring up in myself. A few of my friends have even tweeted or texted me pictures of them and their kids eating a "meal inspired" by my posts.

Others have unfollowed me on social media because of the pizza bombardment.

When you are passionate about something (especially to a fault), people either jump on the wagon or they jump ship. They either get excited about your passion to a point that it becomes theirs or they bail.

I have found this to be true all of my life, especially when I post about the Lord on Facebook. And I do post about Him a lot. When somebody radically changes your life all the time you simply cannot keep quiet about them. This has turned many people away, and that's alright. It has also made people inquire as to why I post so many Bible verses or talk about Jesus so much.

My passion for Jesus, much like my apparent love of pizza, is unfaltering. I'm not sorry about that.

3. What others think about you doesn't matter--what you know is true about you matters.

I am fun-loving and cannot ever remember a day in my life that I haven't laughed. In fact, I live for laughter. If you know me at all you know that one of my favorite things is sharing this joy with others.

Whether or not people get a chuckle out of my pizza posts doesn't matter as much to me as it did when I started this stupid thing. I know for a fact some are thoroughly annoyed by this by now. That's okay too.

It still makes me smile. And I'm gonna keep doing it.

You might think I'm crazy and over-playing this. Those things are both probably true.

But I'm having great fun coming up with these ridiculous captions and finding the most tantalizing pictures I can. Sometimes it's the highlight of my day. Even on a bad day, I'm posting about pizza and for a moment there is joy. On great days it's just icing on the cake.

When I spend time with Jesus it is always the highlight of my day. Even on a bad day, I'm longing to dive in to the word of God and I find joy in His promises. On great days it's just icing on the cake. I will never be sorry for being a joyful, silly, ridiculous child of God, even when others may not understand.

4. Life was not created to be taken too seriously.
If you aren't laughing then you aren't living. Enough said. You do not by any means have to laugh at my posts, but please, for the love of all that is good in the world, laugh at something.
You'll live longer and you'll love better.

5. Your passion becomes your reputation.

I woke up one morning and had a notification that I had been tagged in someone's status on Facebook. I laughed hard when I read that one of my good friends faced a barrage of questions from her kids as to whether or not I had posted about pizza AGAIN that day. I sure had.

This has unpredictably become something that people are EXPECTING of me. I love pizza. I post about it always. It's a joke that makes me laugh more than anything else. But now it's almost as if people are lying in wait to see what I'm going to say about it next. That makes me laugh even harder.

"Oh yeah, Sarah, the girl who obviously loves pizza SO MUCH."
I'm that girl now.
And I do love pizza. Lots. It's yummy.
I have hyperbolized this love to an insane extent.

It has taken less than three weeks for me to become this person built on a cheesy, saucy, doughy reputation. It will be interesting to see what happens when the month is over and the pizza pictures come to an end (only eleven days left, friends).

When this is all said and done I am still going to be posting about the other thing I'm most passionate about--Jesus Christ. Maybe to the extent that people expect it from me. But my one goal has always been to make Him famous and I'm staking my life on the truth I've found in Him.
"Oh yeah, Sarah, the girl who obviously loves Jesus SO MUCH."
That statement is the one that is categorically true about me. 

6. What you talk about most dictates what you really care about most.
People who do not know me at all could look at any of my social media pages for one second and tell you what I care about most. Right now, I'm sure it looks like that's pizza.

What could people infer that you care about most from what you post?
A dislike of your job?
Your kids?
Complaining?
Jesus?

What you put on the internet is permanent. Even when you delete it, records are kept. Screen captures have been taken. I'm sure you have seen many celebrities still get in big trouble for things they have tweeted, facebooked, or instagrammed for only a second and then deleted. But it's too late by then.

I have made a rule for myself about social media. I will never post anything that I might ever regret. I take a tip from Philippians 4:8 on this one: "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Post about such things.

I will never ever until the day I die regret posting about my Savior, the things He is teaching me, and the many ways He is changing my life for the better.

So there you have it. Unexpected lessons birthed from utter nonsense. God works everything... EVERYTHING (even stupid pictures of pizza) for His good. You can definitely expect me to post pizza pictures for the remainder of the month, because I'm still smiling about it. I'm still SO THANKFUL for pizza. I just never knew how much this absurd endeavor would affect my views of social media, thankfulness, and passion.

Thanks for hanging in there through the goofiness.

Joy Comes in the Mourning

I remember exactly what she looked like. She was still the same girl I had known, but now she was pale and underweight and her hair was gone. She had a few last strands put up in a ponytail, but by the looks of things those would soon be gone too. She had tubes connected everywhere you can connect them and she was wearing her glasses. She smiled when we walked in and that's what I will always remember most. She was still so beautiful when she smiled.

We brought some fun pajamas and slipper socks so she would be more comfortable in that hospital bed. I remember going around the store picking them out because we had to be sure the jammies opened in the front so the doctors could easily get to all of the tubes on her chest that were hooked up to those loud machines. Small conveniences and comforts in a scary situation.

She went in to see the doctor because of some pain and discomfort she was experiencing and had no idea that she would never be able to leave again. They told her it was leukemia and suddenly everything that I knew to be true and good in the world was turned upside down. She had months left. How could God let something this terrible happen to a thirteen-year-old girl who had done nothing but serve him well and love others?

That day when we as a family went to visit Brittany at the hospital was a totally new experience for me. I had only ever been to hospitals to welcome new babies. They were a joyful place to me. I had never walked into a room so unsure of what to expect but cherishing every second nonetheless. I can't remember everything that we talked about because now this was years and years ago (I was eleven), but I do remember one very important thing--we were laughing. Brittany sat there in her bed and we sat on the floor and in uncomfortable hospital chairs and we laughed. For hours, we laughed.

This young girl with a broken body and a full heart just talked and joked with us all day. It felt like everything was okay again for a moment. All of my sleepless nights crying out to a God I wasn't sure was even listening were lost as I watched her laugh until she cried. I distinctly remember a nurse coming in and asking us to quiet down and then she hung out for a few minutes once she got to know us and saw how much fun we were all having.

We hugged Brittany so tight when we said "see you later" and left in good spirits. I don't remember it as a depressing or sad day whatsoever. I remember laughing until my sides hurt.

Then it happened. At the end of school one day weeks later I got the news that she died.
I dropped to the ground and lost it.
It was sudden and wasn't supposed to happen. She was just getting some routine procedure done and something went terribly wrong and she was gone just like that.
I would never see her again.

The coming weeks were the worst ones my family has ever endured. Brittany was my sister's very best friend and now she was gone. How were we supposed to even begin to pick up these broken pieces? How were we supposed to trust that God was good and that he really did have a plan?

In recent circumstances I have been reminded of Brittany and her very short battle. I have remembered so intensely the pain I felt at the injustice of her death. But I have also remembered that day we laughed together for so long. In a time when all I had been doing was crying, I laughed. Hard. It was so refreshing.

I never expected to learn so much from such a terrible situation:

That it's okay to laugh and find relief in comedy even when things look bleak.

You are allowed to process situations however it is healthiest for you to do so.
You never have to feel guilty or apologize for laughing or crying. Or both.

That people who really are there for you will assist in healing your heartbreak the best that they know how, and they aren't prodding to annoy you--they are prodding because they love you.

Sometimes prayers don't get answered the way that I want them to, but that does not change the fact that God is faithful and good.

Joy does come. Sometimes it isn't in the way we expected or even wanted, but it does come.

Sometimes everything just sucks and you need to laugh until you cry because you just need to experience a new kind of tears.

Laughter might not technically heal physical wounds, but it still heals and is never to be stifled. I am who I am because I laugh with those who need to have their hearts healed, even if sometimes that's just me.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5