What People Don't Tell You at Graduation (That You Really Do Need to Hear)

1.  Failure is always an option.
We learn more about ourselves from failure than we do from success. I'm sure the experience of that test you bombed in high school sucked, don't get me wrong, but I bet you learned something. It's OKAY TO FAIL. Success rarely happens on the first try, and perseverance through failure is what will shape you into who you are meant to be. Nothing builds character quite like persevering under trial. How you handle failure says WAY more about you than the failure itself. Learn, grow, and move on. Everything is going to be okay, even when you fail.

2. WHAT you decide to be will never matter as much as WHO you decide to be.
I struggled with this one a lot as I graduated high school (and to be honest, I still struggle with it to this day). It seems like all people care about is what kind of degree you're getting so they can speculate on your future job security. They ask what you want to be when you grow up and they need to know a sure answer this time. But it's okay to not know. It's freeing to be able to answer with an "I have no idea". The job you have will never define who you are--it merely defines what you do. Who you are will never depend on salary or status. Who you are depends on your character. I'm at a place in my life where even though I have been working towards a degree, I have no idea what I will use those credentials for. All that I truly care about is shaping myself into a responsible adult whose heart is so very much lost in God's. I don't care what I am doing because my focus is who I am becoming.

3. These aren't the greatest years of your life.
Yes, you will look back on high school and remember the great times you had with the wonderful friends you made. High school forces us to define ourselves so that we can be ready to face the college years, and I will always be grateful for the people who mentored me during that time. But the focus on the college years can be very skewed. You might feel like this is your last chance to be young, so you better live it up. You might hear that college is the place to have the last hurrah of your fun, because there is no room for fun in the "real world". That couldn't be more false. It isn't like you have to go crazy in college for fear of never being allowed to have fun again. There is no rule against making every year of your life the new greatest year of your life. Nobody is going to force you to stop being happy when these college years are over--that is your choice. There is too much life ahead of you for you to be worrying about making these years count. Make every year count.

4. It is okay to change your mind.

You don't have to know right now what the rest of your life looks like. It's better if you don't. Picking a college, major, or job is not the end-all-be-all. It's okay to stop and make a decision to change those things. It's really okay to try new things until you find where you really belong, because too often we feel like once we have made a decision we have to stick to it. You don't have to settle for mediocrity in your heart because you are afraid that your parents will be disappointed you won't be a doctor, lawyer, or concert pianist. If it's not for you, it's not for you. Don't ever settle for something less when your heart aches for something better.

"I don't know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future."

Independence Days

I have been spending a lot of time by myself lately. Usually I don't like to spend that much of my time alone--I am a very social person and thrive in settings with multitudes of people. But recently I have been doing things completely independently and I have never felt so good.

I have done things by myself that I previously thought were unimaginable. I went out to lunch alone, I went stag to a concert, and I even went to see a movie by myself. I am cherishing my seclusion more than I ever have before and I am becoming very okay with this independence. It really is freeing.

I don't feel pressured to be "the funny one" when I am alone. There is nobody to impress. I didn't realize how much other peoples' opinions of me mattered until I stopped hanging out with them. It's so nice to just be allowed to feel however I truly do and not have to worry about what others think. I can enjoy things I want to enjoy and not have to compromise my opinions for anybody.

Sure, there is give and take with any relationship and it is good to find happy mediums--but there is something genuinely wonderful about being in charge of yourself. I have been saying "no" to others instead of being walked all over. It feels good. I am in control of my own happiness again.

Through this I am learning how to be more like my true self when I do hang out with others. My "reputation" doesn't have a hold on me. It's time to make God's reputation the one that matters.

Happiness Sometimes, Joy Forever

Life in the past month has been, to put it simply, chaos. I have gone through so many ups and downs, so many stresses, and so many victories. I have had past hurts come to light, I finished a semester at a new school, I got a promotion, I quit that job, and on and on. All the while I have been growing. I think that might be the most important thing that I am taking away from this semester--the idea that no matter where I am or how much I feel like I am stuck in a certain situation, I can learn something. I can become better.


I am rising out of a funk that I have been trapped in for the past several weeks and it feels good to finally be shaking those ashes off. For some reason there has been a heaviness on me that has kept me very on-edge. I have been frustrated at the little things. I have treated people poorly as a defense mechanism.


I feel terrible for letting myself get there, but I am working on being better. I have to catch myself and hold my tongue. I have to speak life into people instead of only caring about what I am going through. I am finding myself sucking the poison out of a lot of wounds I have created in myself and in others recently and it is very freeing. I know in my heart that I love people, so I need to start acting like it.


I need to stop holding grudges. Sometimes something as small as a passive-aggressive tweet is enough to set me off. I am striving to forgive and forget. I am working hard at making sure my focus is on matters of eternity. I am developing a thick skin not only to keep bad things out, but to keep good things in.


I promised myself a long time ago that I would never lose my spark. I will never lose the thing that keeps me joyful even when I am upset. I know better than most what it means to have the joy of the Lord. I know it means that it's okay to cry and have bad days, it's okay to be upset, and it's okay to feel like my world is collapsing. My joy comes from the fact that my King turns it around. My joy comes from the fact that as my world is collapsing in all around me, my God is seeing me through.


I don't have to be happy for my God to be present. My joy comes from the promise of security I find in Him, the notion that He is here working, leading, and guiding me. Everything really is going to be okay. It feels good to be reminded that I am not alone.