I knew that transferring schools wasn't going to be all rainbows and butterflies. And it seems like everything came crashing down this week. I'm a mess.
Financial stress is tearing me to pieces. I have no idea how I am going to pay tuition for the rest of the semester much less raise the funds to go on the missions trip to Belize in June. The worst part is that my heart is at peace; it knows that my God is Jehovah Jireh who provides. But my head keeps saying how impossible this all is. That there is no way to pay for all the things in my life that need to be paid for, that coming here was a stupid decision financially, and that I'm alone in this.
I'm conflicted. Half of me is growing, learning, and reaping the benefits of the best decision I have ever made in my life while the other half is worrying, worrying, worrying. It's wearing me completely out. This week I had one of those days that just forced me to cry. Nothing necessarily happened to warrant a good cry, but it still came. It felt like the tears were drops of stress and worry escaping my body. Sometimes you just need that.
All I can do is focus on today and try to take everything one step at a time.
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